Erotic content is a big part of my writing, and I don’t think that’s ever going to change. Yet, I decided to write a book about a gay character who falls under the asexuality umbrella. Demisexuals do not experience primary sexual attraction—they must form an intense emotional connection first.
When I first came across a description of demisexuality, I dropped everything and read everything I could find about primary vs. secondary sexual attraction—I was fascinated because secondary sexual attraction explained so much about romantic attachment and how it sustained sexual attraction in long-term relationships of the Happily Ever After variety.
And then, I wrote Adam Walker—a demisexual gay romantic. As a writer, I saw a chance to explore the opposite of insta-love or even insta-lust. Here we have a character who isn’t attracted to another person without the emotional connection. He didn’t need just anyone—he needed Harris.
And yet—I wanted to dispel this myth that asexual or demisexual people are passionless—Adam is a passionate character. He loves flying, he loves his family, and he loves Harris Kingston. He gets confused about his sexuality—he’d probably laugh at me if I made him google “demisexual”—but he loves with his whole heart, and when it breaks, it hurts him deeply.
So I had my brave, passionate pilot—a career choice which left him firmly in the closet and unable to pursue the one person to whom he’d felt this attachment. Add several years of resentment from Harris, and suddenly I had the recipe for a tense, explosive—and for Adam’s sake, very romantic—reunion.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on romantic vs. sexual attachments—which draws you in first? Are they tightly related for you?
High and Tight releases 5/19/2014 from Carina Press.
One commenter will receive an advance copy of High and Tight in ebook format.
Pilot Adam Walker has had one great love in his life: Harris Kingston. But twelve years ago, when he accepted a scholarship and joined the Navy, he chose duty to his country over love. Their on-again off-again relationship was never more than private joy, a frustrating fact of military life.
Harris never wanted to be anyone’s dirty little secret. When Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell was repealed two years ago, Adam broke his heart one last time. He’s picked up the pieces and moved on, building a great career and dating guys who aren’t afraid to be seen in public with him. But when Adam strolls into his salon asking for a haircut, his newfound happiness goes to hell in a handbasket.
Adam’s been at war with himself for over a decade. Now on the verge of leaving the military, he’s desperate to court Harris the right way and be forgiven. With two weeks’ leave and a Navy man’s conviction, he’s ready to start over…if he can convince Harris he’s ready to come out and commit.
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For the Grand Prize Giveaway, I (Nix) will be giving away ten of my top LGBT books. These books will be gifted via All Romance as the books are available to readers on all the types of eReaders (you just need to sign up for a free account to access the books and you can send them directly). If you have any of the books and you win the prize, speak to me and I’ll see what else I can do. All of the posts have prizes atatched and a list of these can be found here
The books are (and there are substitutions available for people who have copies)…
- With a Kiss by Kim Dare (MM)
- Hot Head by Damien Suede (MM)
- By the Book by Scarlett Parrish (MM)
- The Dom With a Safeword by Cari Silverwood (FFM)
- Starfish and Coffee by Kele Moon (MM)
- How Sweet it is – Melissa Brayden (FF)
- Fatal Shadows – Josh Lanyon (MM)
- Faith and Fidelity – Tere Michaels (MM)
- How to Love – Kelly Jamieson (FMM)
- Cut and Run – Abigail Roux (MM)
- Paperback Tread Marks & Trademarks by SA McAuley
I’ve been thinking a lot about demisexuality and characters lately. I’ll have to check out High and Tight when it’s out.
I have no issues with insta-love/lust but I do find I enjoy a book more when there is an deeper emotional connection between the characters that surpasses just the sex.
Thank you for explaining demi-sexuality and the difference between primary & secondary sexual attraction. I”ll admit that I didn’t have the first idea what it entailed until reading your post. I’ll have to add High & Tight to my want list.
Really interesting post–I’d never heard the term before now!
Very interesting. I’d not heard this term, and I appreciate the explanation. And now I’m off to google more!
Thank you for your interesting post! I had never heard the term before and I was interested to read what it meant. High and Tight sounds great.
I had a guy leave me for the Navy…. and I am now happily married to someone else. I hope their story turns out better for Adam; even though I’m quite happy with my own ending. 😀 Thanks for the great interview and a chance to read a book by an author that’s new to me!
I’m on my way to google demisexual right now-never heard of it before. I like a romance that takes a while to develop-the sex is just icing on the cake. 🙂
It depends on the person for me. I’ve experienced both.
Same here, I’d never heard of the term before as well, very interesting and I think I will google it as well. The explanations here makes perfect sense.