To be loved by a vampire… I’ve been called many names in my day. Most of them weren’t flattering but they were true. I was a right unholy bastard. Eighteen months ago, I was a fat, nasty, legally blind, computer programmer who decided to try his chubby hand at industrial espionage. I wasn’t good at it. I caught the attention of a Vampire Assassin, Marcus. He was just supposed to kill me; but he wanted me instead.
I became his toy for a year. During which time he reshaped my body; fixed my vision and broke me psychologically into three pieces. On the anniversary of my kidnapping, he gave me the choice to become an equal or remain a toy. Little did we know that he would never be my equal.
Ok, I will warn you now – this book is definitely not for everyone. It’s very dark right from the start – darker than is my normal comfort zone actually but a friend recommended that I read it and I trusted their opinion so gave it a try.
Not only is this book way out of my comfort zone it’s also written in first person, something else that I don’t normally read or enjoy but it totally worked for this story. Considering the fact I wasn’t keen on the plot, don’t normally enjoy first person and didn’t particularly like the characters I was really surprised that I actually enjoyed the book as a whole.
It’s very rare for me that I don’t like the characters but still enjoy the book as they are normally vital for my enjoyment. I can get passed one difficult character but I don’t think I can ever remember reading a book where I had a problem with all the characters (one that I actually finished that is!)
I kept thinking that Xavier needed a Gibbs slap to make him appreciate the good things in life rather than being so wrapped up in himself. Then I would remember everything that he had been through and feel guilty for being so harsh. Before he was kidnapped he had an arrogant attitude and had pulled away from his family so I wasn’t surprised that he remained defiant and aggravated Marcus as much as possible. But I think after he was changed I expected him to try and stand up for himself a bit more; He would defend anyone he considered his family but he didn’t really seem bothered about looking after himself.
Marcus was an egotistical jerk – His treatment of Xavier to start with was disgusting and after he had changed him he would say that he was his equal and then he would treat him in a way that proved it was all just words. At some points I thought he was really coming round and with a bit of effort could have been a nice guy (shocking that I could consider a rapist a nice guy but I guess that was meant to be sort of swept under the rug for the story to work) but then he would slip back in to his old ways and I wanted to punch him. He didn’t realise the gift that Xavier was giving to him half the time and the rest he was just abusing that gift. I think he was probably a bit jealous of what Xavier was to become and by belittling him it gave him a sense of importance.
I’m a big fan of angsty storylines and this book has it by the bucket load – every character seemed to have something going on in their life or something in the past that had affected them making them in to who they were. I appreciated that some of the characters history was explained and it did provide a different view of how they had acted in certain situations but at some points I felt it was just an excuse for their behaviour.
I’m sure it sounds like I didn’t enjoy this book at all. I did, honest. I’m just really struggling to explain what it was that I enjoyed about it as it’s just not something I would normally read and I can’t even pinpoint it and say it’s because of this part of the plot or because of that character.
If you are willing to overlook the difficult plot then give this a shot – maybe if you do we have a chat about it and I might decide why I actually liked it, lol.
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